I Am The Storm

The Devil whispered in my ear, "You're not strong enough to withstand the storm." Today, I whispered in the Devil's ear, "I am the storm."

A friend of mine tagged me in this post recently and I loved it.

The Devil whispered in my ear,

Today, I woke up feeling quite snarky.  I started and deleted several Facebook updates before I finally walked away from my favorite social media site for the day.  It was a good  plan and I had a good day.

I’ve been participating in a Vibe Shifting Bootcamp this month.  For those of you who are curious about what the hell I’m doing – this is Law of Attraction (remember The Secret?) talk for lifting my energy, my vibe.

Law of Attraction = I’m Rubber, You’re Glue

According to the Law of Attraction, we attract what we think about and what we give energy too.  Have you ever had one of those days when nothing was going right?  Have you ever thought about what you were thinking about?  Whenever I have one of those days, you can bet that I’ve been bitching in my head, practicing conversations with someone I’m having a conflict with, generally being an ungrateful beeotch about my life.

This isn’t a way to live, especially when you live with depression.

So I’ve been doing daily things to life my vibration and lead a more positive life:

  • List 10 things I’m thankful for each morning.
  • List “Today’s Wins” at the end of the day.
  • Ask people “what funny thing happened today?” instead of “how are you?”
  • Be thankful for every penny I pick up, every sponsor I land, and every bill I pay.
  • I don’t indulge in negative self-talk about myself or others.

I’ve seen the difference.

I no longer have a lot of drama in my life and when I do, it’s humorous instead of infuriating.  My blog is gaining ground and more opportunities are coming my way.  I’m having a blast at work.  And my home life is fantastic.

People who have caused me problems in the past have slowly drifted away, making room for awesome new friends.

This shit works.

That Was a Strange Dream

This week, I had two strange dreams and I’m curious if all this woo woo, positive crap is causing my subconscious to vomit up some old rage.

Dream #1 – I Beat the Crap Out of Someone

In my first dream, I beat the crap out of someone.  I lost my mind and beat them down on the ground and when they weren’t moving, I didn’t stop.  I grabbed something and continued beating them.  In the dream, everyone witnessing my special level of crazy felt that I was justified at first, but then they got freaked out and started driving away.  And I stood there with my weapon, covered in blood.

Dream #2 – I Got into a Screaming Match with Someone

I don’t know how it started. I just remember a conversation (don’t remember about what) spun out of control and I was screaming at someone who was screaming back.  Like in the first dream, everyone witnessing my tirade was on my side at first and then it just got weird and they walked way.

Dream #3 – My Stepfather Told me What He Thought of Me

My mother’s husband no longer speaks to me.  Something happened when I was in Nashville last year.  I was supposed to meet my parents for dinner when an opportunity came up; I asked if my mom if she would mind if we met for breakfast instead and she was fine.  Two hours later, I received a text message that they were leaving.  I never found out what happened, but my stepfather never spoke to me again and he blocked my number.

I finally got the balls to ask my mom what she said to him, but she never responded and is not speaking to me (again).

In the dream, he came to my house and told me that he stopped speaking to me because I had developed a big head and thought I was better than everyone and he couldn’t deal with my arrogance.  I was completely confused and demanded examples, but never got any.

Dream #4 (last night) – I Was a Bitch to the Step Son’s Girlfriend’s Cousin

Several of us were in the kitchen when I suddenly noticed how much weight my step son’s girlfriend had gained.  Turned out that this was the girlfriend’s cousin – they looked like Twins like in 70s shows, remember when the cousin was identical?  I nearly said something about her weight (are you pregnant?) when I realized it wasn’t her.  She made a snarky comment in response to my facial expression (I don’t have a poker face) and I was a complete bitch back to her.

In this dream, I backed up and apologized.  No blood, no screaming.

At the end of my dreams (in the dream), I had the thought “wow, that spun out of control really fast” before waking up.

I don’t wake up in a bad mood, just relieved and baffled.  There are some unresolved issues in my life, but nothing that would lead to me replicating a scene from Carrie.

I Am the Storm

In the past, I would obsess about the dreams, read dream interpretation sites, and worry that something bad was coming.  Today, I just figured I got some anger out while getting a good night’s sleep.  Maybe it’s all the work I’m doing that brought about the dreams.  Or maybe all the work is helping move past the dreams.

Whatever is going on, I’m not worried about the storm may be coming, because…

I am the storm.

Or maybe I need to cut back on the sweets.

2 thoughts on “I Am The Storm

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