I used to be a mean girl.
I walked into the adult world with a huge chip on my shoulder and a sour case of entitlement. I stumbled through two decades of my life wondering why I was so damn miserable and why I had such bad luck with relationships and jobs. Every single day was a struggle and the self- hatred was crippling.
It didn’t help that I surrounded myself with negative, toxic people throughout my life. I was attracted to people who fed that sense of entitlement that I was lugging around. Together, we’d bitch about the unfairness of life and how horrible other people were. We massaged each other’s egos and convinced ourselves that it was Them, not Us.
Eventually, I was faced with the fact that I was the common denominator in my story of abject misery and it was time for a change.
So, to the mean girls out there, I get why you behave the way you do. Your story may not be my story, but in your behavior, I’m reminded of the person I used to be.
No One Taught Us How to Disagree
People may wonder why our conflicts over inconsequential things quickly spin out of control. I think it’s because we were never taught how to disagree. If someone doesn’t hold the same opinion as we do, then we feel obligated to defend our point of view to the death. It doesn’t matter if we’re arguing about the best time of day to post to social media, the right person to lead our country, or whether dogs should eat vegetables – it’s on like Donkey Kong.
How we treat each other borders on insane and we see this every day on social media.
So, to the mean girls out there, I get why you behave the way you do. You never learned how to deal with people who bring a different perspective to the table. Instead of seeing this as an opportunity for interesting discussion or to learn something new; you see it as a personal threat, and you go on the defense.
To the Meal Girls Who Just Won’t Stop
Three years ago, I hit rock bottom and I found myself crying each week in therapy for nearly a year. Today, I have a new therapist, a better outlook on life, and a few tools (staying positive) that help me from day to day.
I was diagnosed with having the propensity to anxiety that can lead to depression if not managed in time. Sounds about right.
This year, I but heads with several mean girls. There were Facebook messages, private emails, and so many phone calls that I learned how to block numbers. It was insanity (and a little humorous). Three years ago, I would have been down for the fight. Today, I have better things to do.
So, to the mean girls out there, I am saying goodbye to you. And maybe, someday soon, you’ll reach the same realization that I came to a few years ago. Life is too short, and we should spend the time we have breeding joy and happiness; not negativity and hate.